Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
