you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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