Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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