So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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