Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
