Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
