She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize