Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
