yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
