I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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