just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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