you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
