I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
