finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
