so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
