He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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