The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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