In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Randomize