it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
