I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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