I think im going to throw up on grandma
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
