I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize