sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
