ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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