weddingsv make me drug and hornr
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize