So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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