He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
