He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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