Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
