so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Farmville is her only friend.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Dignity is for republicans.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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