I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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