Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
