I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm getting married
To pizza
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize