Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
