Life is so much better after having sex.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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