M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
