I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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