do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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