She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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