I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
