So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i dont even know how to be here
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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