He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
