We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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