i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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