her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize