Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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