We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
