i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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