well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize