my shit smells like andre
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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