I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
