Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
we're making bets on your personal life
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
