called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
