You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
