I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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