some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
