Cold hands, warm shart.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize