But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
if only i could text you this smell
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
