you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
