a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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