PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
