Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
