She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
