Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
