K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
