His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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